One of the TV channels here - ProSieben - runs little documentaries throughout the night. While I was cooking dinner tonight there was a documentary on Christmas Carp. There seems to be a tradition in Germany that ppl have carp at their Weihnachts dinner....
Anyway, the documentary covered everything from the catching to the cooking of the carp...problem was that they decided that the best way to tell the story was to use animated carp. The main story teller was the grandpa carp who was explaining to the kiddy carp what will happen to them when they are caught etc... Every time he told them something bad, their little eyes would go really wide and look really scared! But then he would say Hab keine Angst... and then go on to justify something or other.
But that's not the worst of it...
Of course, they showed the carp being caught in the nets, being hauled onto the boat, being kept alive in little tanks on the boat, and then finally reaching shore. At shore they were transfered to tankers full of water that transported them to little farms where they were put in bigger ponds to swim around for a while (apparently it makes them taste better). All is looking good for the carp right now. Nice little retirement home in the country...plenty to eat...
Anyway, when it is "time", they dragnet the pool and get the carp out into plastic bin things full of water. Sure, it's a little crowded in here, but we are still alive! Kind of like living in New York...
Finally, I guess it is time for the carp to go to the big pond in the sky. So, how do you think they do it? Do you think they:
1. Take each one out one by one and thump them on the table until they are dead?
2. Wait until they are sleeping, and then smother them with a pillow?
3. Drain all the water out until they suffocate?
4. Call Dr Philip Nitschke for a nice Euthanasia Cocktail before bed?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you would be wrong.
Let's look at it from the point of view of the carp...
Phil: Hey! Stop pushing! There's plenty of room for everyone!
Barry: Hey Phil! What are you and the Missus planning to do for Christmas this year? Going anywhere interesting with the School?
Phil: Um...Barry. What's that wire mesh thing coming into the tank in front of us?
Barry: I dunno Phil, but there's another one being lowered in behind us!
Phil: Maybe it's to keep the Sharks away or something...
Barry: Then what is that red lead that is being attached to the mesh in front of us? And what about the black lead being attached to the one behind u...
ZAP!
And then silence....
THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE! THEY ELECTROCUTE THE FISH!!!!!
One minute they are happily swimming in their crowded tank, and then ZAP! One minute we saw them as a happy swimming mass, and then ZAP! they were all completely still at the same time! It was really kind of disturbing.
I don't think B will ever eat carp again...
Posts
2011: A Year In Music [Part 4 of 4]
12 years ago
5 comments:
At the risk of alienating Bels, in Australia - carp are a bloody nuisance.
When you catch one in the murray, you have to kill the shit out of it and bury it 10-20m from shore. Carp don't die btw: you can STAB THEM IN THE FASE but they are tough buggers and will keep on making lewd suggestions with their small lips.
So basically, you're required by law to bury them alive, 10-20m away from shore.
Who eats carp anyway? Get some Trout or something if you want bad-tasting fish (shh brushie... shh)
I'm with Josh. Carp are hell on earth to exterminate.
My friend caught one in their dam and it made it's way across the paddock back to the dam AFTER IT HAD BEEN SHOT.
Just plain scary.
Electrocuting them kinda seems like a humane-ish way to do it...especially given that they're carp.
I mean, I reckon it'd be harder to watch 'em get "whacked", don't you?
At least eletrocution brings on the reaper swiftly!
Yeah...and then they are already precooked for us. :)
I think that's quite humane - it's better than my current method of sticking a firecracker in their mouth, lighting it and throwing them back.
I half expected you were going to suggest they go into the deep fryer en masse.
Post a Comment