On her birthday, I took Belinda to France to ski at Gérardmer. Gérardmer is a small mountain - only about 20 runs - that is about 2hrs from the Germany/France border.
On the way there we encountered our first entertainment for the day. The Autobahn (say it with a French accent) that we were on decided to have roadworks on it. This wasn't too much of a problem because there were Deviation (again with the accent) signs directing us off the Autobahn onto some smaller roads.
What would have been really nice would have been if the detour signs continued after that...but they didn't. Instead they just direct you off the main road, onto some smaller roads, and then don't bother telling you where to go from there.
"Shouldn't be too much of a problem", I hear you say, "You have navigation!". Sure, but the frickin' navigation kept trying to navigate us back onto the closed Autobahn. She even tried to direct us back onto the Autobahn when we were on a road that crossed it...about 50m below where the Autobahn went over our heads on a bridge. So, this is roughly how it went...
Her:
Nach rechts abbiegen (Now turn right)
Us: WE CAN'T!!!! THE ROAD IS 50 F'N METERS ABOVE US!!!!
Her:
Wenn möglich, bitte wenden. (If/when possible, please turn around)
Us: And you expect us to do this on a dinky, one lane country road???
Her:
Wenn möglich, bitte wenden. (If/when possible, please turn around)
Us: SHUT UP!!!!
Her:
Wenn möglich, bitte wenden. (If/when possible, please turn around)
Us: Fine! (Turns around)
Her:
Nach 300m, links abbiegen. (After 300m, turn left)
Us: Screw you!
Eventually we found some signs that directed us to a town that was on our way, so we followed them...and after about 1/2hr we rejoined the Autobahn.
Alles gut.
Finally, after driving through a foggy, snow-covered mountain range, without snow chains (we think the signs said that we needed them...but we don't speak French), we reached Gérardmer.
This place kinda reminds me of
Bear Valley in California, because it is so small and cute. Matty - You should really try out Bear Valley one day. It is dirt cheap, and a shit load of fun.
Because it was Belinda's birthday, and because my skis were being serviced, I hired Snowblades for the day (try doing that when you don't speak French...and they all say they don't speak English...). I think the blades were €8 to hire for the day...nearly broke the bank! And then adding the €22 lift ticket to it...don't think we will be able to eat this week!
The first couple of runs were a little shakey for me, as I never seriously rode these things before. Because the damn things were so short, I kept trying to walk in them when I got off the lift...not a good idea!
After that, I started to get the hang of the little bastards, and actually had a fun day. By 16:30 our legs were absolute toast, and it was starting to get dark, so we packed up and headed home. A day on those dinky shit-sticks did make me realise how good Belinda is at riding them though - her legs weren't nearly as tired as mine.
(Ok, they just showed some guy accidentally pissing on his shoes on TV...)
Remember that trouble we had on the way there? Well double or triple it on the way home as the car kept trying to direct us through a tunnel that was closed. The signs were even worse this time, and we ended up horribly lost. Luckily, after a number of U-turns, Belinda spotted a lot of lights off to our right, and we found our way back to the Autobahn...and eventually home.
Anyway, here are a few pics of Gérardmer:
Schön, oder?
Tschüß,
'Brush