Like a cool breeze blowing over a still lake...

And just like that, Belinda has her work permit, and everything is good in the world again.

Well, not quite just like that, but close enough. We did have one moment of panic, when the guy at the Ausländerbehörde seemed to be indicating that he needed my passport, but I hadn't brought it with me. A quick flurry of German back and forth, and the problem seemed to go away. Now only if I could have understood what I said, I might know what fixed the problem... :)

Anyway, alles gut in the neighbourhood. :)

Tschüß,
'Brush

Work permit...so close!

So, yesterday we received an email to say that Belinda's work permit has finally come through, and we can go to the Rathaus and pick it up. :)

So, this morning we get up at 06:00, have breakfast and stuff, and head to the Rathaus at 07:00. Firstly, we cannot remember which floor the Ausländerbehörde is on, so we search level 2, level 3, and finally remember that it is on level 1. We have only been here what, 3 or 4 times in the last 6 months - surely we should be able to do this with our eyes closed by now!

As I said, we locate the Ausländerbehörde on level 1, and as we are walking down the corridor, somebody says to us (in German, but translated...) "We are closed today, unless you have an appointment". YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?!?!

I should have known that something would happen...it just wouldn't be a Brush and Bel experience otherwise. Oh well, guess we try again tomorrow...and hopefully the stars will align for us. :)

Tschüß,
'Brush.

Stoopid license questions

As promised, here are a selection of stoopid German license questions:

Q: Immediately before setting off you have felt very angry and you are furious. What is right?

1. You should not drive when you are furious.
2. You set off and get rid of your anger while driving.

Q: You had to follow a car travelling rather slowly on a country road for some time. This annoyed you and you can finally overtake. What do you do?

1. You reprimand the dawdling driver by cutting in front of him after overtaking.
2. You control your annoyance and overtake. You keep a sufficient distance, also when changing back into the right-hand lane.

Q: What do you think of drivers who travel too fast under pressure of time and do not observe speed regulations?

1. One should be indulgent towards them since they are in a hurry.
2. Pressure of time is no justification for ignoring traffic regulations.

Q: You are overtaking a queue of cars on the autobahn. A car approaching very fast is pushing you. The driver flashes his headlights and uses his direction indicator to show that you should clear his way. What do you do?

1. You teach the jostling driver a lesson and intentionally reduce your speed.
2. ...
3. ...

Q: Your vehicle loses oil. How much drinking water can be polluted by a single drop of oil? Up to:

1. 600 litres
2. 50 litres
3. 1 litre

Q: A car with a young driver has stopped next to you at a red traffic light. He is playing with his accelerator and obviously intends to start first and shake you off when the lights change. How do you react?

1. You take up the challenge and try to do the same.
2. You ignore the challenge, remain cool and let the other car drive off.

Q: What should you avoid for reasons of environmental protection?

1. Letting the engine warm up when the vehicle is stationary.
2. Unnecessary trips.
3. Loud music with windows open.

(PS: The last option is one of the correct ones!)

Q: What must you reckon with when elderly people are crossing the roadway?

1. The do not always pay attention to vehicle traffic.
2. The often stop abruptly on the roadway.
3. The often turn back in the middle of the roadway.

Q: Driving at night to the next discotheque by car, a group of young men and women wants to keep spirits high during the journey. They thus sing exuberantly, laugh and turn up the volume on the car radio. How should the driver of the car react in such a situation?

1. Join in to avoid being a spoilsport.
2. The driver responsible for safety must distance himself from the group in such a case and ask his passengers not to divert his attention.
3. Further heat up the high spirits of the group by driving risky manoeuvres.

That's enough for now. There are many more, but I think you get the picture. :)

Tschüß,
'Brush

Day light savings

FYI Daylight saving time has started here so we are now have a 9 hour time difference between here and home. In a week or so when Aus changes it will be 8 hours. This note is especially for those who call and text message us - we love you, but not at 2am :-)

I am quite tired today because we turned our clocks the wrong way, so we thought we had a lot more time and accidently stayed up too late... So make sure you go the right way next weekend

B

Getting warmer...

The title fits for two reasons:

1. I think that Spring is kinda trying to break through.
Last week it was still around 3C every day, but Monday this week brought an 11C day. Sure, today it snowed a little, and reached a top of about 5C, but I think it won't be long. I even saw a pair of crows humping outside my window at work today...frisky crows must be a sign of Spring, right?

2. We expect to have a warmer Christmas this year.
That's right, today we booked our flights home for Xmas. We will be leaving Germany on 15th December, and flying back on 13th January. So, break out the BBQs, the backyard cricket sets, and the tickets to a Boxing Day Test (if there is one), because BRUSHY'S COMIN' HOME! (Oh yeah, and Bel is coming too...)

But, of course, nothing could happen without an incident, so here are the incidents surrounding the Xmas home-coming:

1. Bel was able to arrange with her company to take 3 weeks of leave, and then work out of the Australian office for 1 week(hopefully). I tried this on with my boss, and he said that I work in Germany, and not in Australia, so I have to take it all as leave. Um...ok then...I will!

2. An unnamed airline, that my unnamed company might like to fly, has this weird thing with their frequent flier miles. I can transfer upto 60,000 miles from my account to other people each year, but I am limited to transfering a maximum of 15,000 to any one person. This means that I can't transfer enough miles over to Bel to make her flight free (though we have enough between us), so I am flying for free, and we are paying for Bel. You guys will accept that as your only form of Xmas present, right?

Finally, when we are home for Xmas - we have an assignment for the Evil lady from number 11. Your mission, if you chose to accept it - and you will - is to keep our German up to scratch. This means fun fun fun! Deal?

Tschüß,
'Brush

We are legal!

This morning, all of the stress, all of the bureaucracy, and most importantly, all of the wannabe Paris Hiltons in the Rathaus couldn't stand in our way - we passed our German Driver's License tests! :)

The driving instructor picked us up at 10:00 and drove us to the TüV for the test. There was another Chinese guy with us who was doing his test too, and he was actually the one behind the wheel.
When we got there, the instructor asked us if we had our passports...which luckily we did...but the other guy didn't. Turns out that you can't do your test without your passport, so he had to put in some urgent calls back home, and then meet a friend at the Bus Stop to pick it up.

Belinda went first, and passed with flying colours. I went second, and despite feeling like I was going to shit myself and throw-up from the nerves, managed to pass as well.

I just want to put it out there, that this is the 5th driving test that I have sat, across a total of 3 countries, AND I HAVE STILL NEVER HAD TO PARALLEL PARK IN A DRIVING TEST!!! :)

Coolest thing about the test is that they already have your license printed and ready to go, so if you pass, you get your own little plastic piece of 200km/h+ freedom to take with you there and then. It was soooo cool!

Oh yeah, and Belinda wanted me to mention that in the practise lesson on Saturday, the instructor got us to practise stopping by jumping as hard as we could on the brakes in a parking lot. It was cool fun. :)

Tschüß,
'Brush

Carinval

Every year in Germany there is a big Carnival on - kind of like in Rio but its freezing and there is Lederhosen.

We unfortunately didn't manage to get to any of the big parades but we did go to a nearby kids’ parade that our German teacher’s kids were in.

It was heaps of fun and luckily the weather was only freezing. The day of the adults’ parade it rained all day and night. During the parade the kids were throwing lollies into the crowd so we got to try a few German lollies - we felt ill by the end :-)

The plan for the day was that we would meet our teachers house and go with them, we didn't realise that part of their plan was also that we would dress up... Brett initially declined the offer, but I was nagged into it so I was given the first costume, then we all finally convinced Brett to also dress up (I couldn't be dressed up alone) so he got the second costume...



So I am a devil (Teufel), and Brett is a Scarecrow (Vogelscheuche). We had our faces painted largely by a 7 year old and the costume used to belong the the 7 and 4 year old...

I got these three photos up - there are more to come of the parade but blogger is misbehaving again



B

Eine neue Jacke und einen Haarschnitt für Belinda

Gestern hat Belinda einen Haarschnitt bekommen. Es war das Erstes Mal, seit wir nach Deutschland gekommen sind. Auch hat sie eine neue Skijacke gekauft, aber ich denke, daß sie die bevor nächstes Jahr nicht benutzen wird, weil ich denke, daß Frühling schließlich angekommen hat.

Sorry about that, but I feel that I am out of practise, so I thought I would pound the first bit out in German. Well, here it is in English:
Yesterday Belinda got a haircut. It was the first time since we came to Germany. She also bought a new ski jacket, but I think that she won't use it before next year, because I think that spring has finally arrived.



Tschüß,
'Brush

Skiing in the Alps

Last weekend Belinda, Anita, and I piled into the car and headed to the Fellhornbahn, on the border with Austria, to do a little skiing.

The drive on the way down was full of fun and challenges because the water in the windscreen wiper washers had completely frozen (it was around -8C). This meant that we couldn't clear the windscreen of all the snow and salt that was being thrown up off the road.
One solution that did work for a while, was driving quite close to the car in front before overtaking it. This way the car would flick up water onto our windscreen, and we could then use it to clear the windows. Inventive, huh?

Apparently we weren't the only ones that this was happening too. When we stopped at a roadhouse on the autobahn, there were heaps of cars there cleaning their windscreens, adding anti-freeze stuff to the washer reservoir, etc. Problem is, once the water is frozen, the anti-freeze doesn't actually acheive anything, so we all kept on driving essentially blind. It wasn't any better on the way back either, with us stopping every now and then to pour water onto the windscreen to clear it.

Anyway, Fellhornbahn was kick-arse! Lift lines were basically non-existant, the snow was in awesome condition, and the runs also weren't too crowded. If there was one complaint, it was that there was too much snow, so the runs did chop up into bumps later in the day - oh well, it's a nice problem to have. :)

At one point in the morning, I missed a turn on a run, and ended up leaving the piste. This was cool for a while - while the snow was only knee deep - but kinda sucked when it got waist deep and I didn't have enough speed to keep going. It took me about 10min to dig myself out and hike back down to the trail. :)

In the afternoon, we were a little late getting off the mountain. Last run is at 16:30, and the last Gondolla down was at 17:00. We were coming down our final run when we heard a constant beeping, and looked up to see the groomers coming up the trail. We had to bail off the trail, and Belinda ended up chest-deep in snow. It took her and Anita about 10min to dig and drag her out, and we only just made it down in time for the last Gondolla.

Here are some pics:


Tschüß,
'Brush

The License saga continues...

Greetings, loyal readers!

So, remember a while back we informed you about registering for our license, doing the eye test, the first aid course, etc? Well, yesterday was the first part of the actual testing for the license - the theory test.

Jack: MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS!!!

*** Warning! This is a long one!!! ***

Firstly, we thought that we were doing the theory test on Monday night at our Driving School. So, we studied all weekend, I worried myself nearly sick about the thing, and then we turned up on Monday night, only to find out that this was the Pre-test Test. The Driving School likes to test you before you go and do the real test, so that they are sure that you know your stuff, and won't make them look stupid by getting everything wrong.

So, Wednesday morning at 07:00 we turn up at the TüV to do our written test. First we wait outside for ages, in below 0C weather, until the Driving Instructor turns up. He lets us into the test room, and we wait, with around another 8 people, for the examiner to turn up.

While we were waiting, the Instructor informs us that when we registered, we didn't give the Town Hall our Australian Drivers Licenses, so they have registered us as normal Germans going for a license. This means that they expect us to have 20hrs of supervised driving training, in the city, in the country, and at night. The Driving Instructor says that it's not a problem - we will just go to the Town Hall and fix it after the test.

Finally the examiner turns up, nearly 1hr late. Well, I should say "another examiner" turned up, as the original one turned out to be sick - is it a coincidense that this was the day after Karnival (a big arsed piss up and parade)?
Belinda and I get out papers, sit down, and do the test. There were a couple of questions that I was to-ing and fro-ing with, but mainly it was pretty easy.

We both took our papers up to the examiner and returned to our seats. The other ppl
were still doing their tests, but the instructor still announced very loudly that I had passed mine with no failure points (Questions are worth different numbers of points between 2 and 5, and you can get up to 9 points wrong - there are 30 questions on the paper). The examiner also said that I could go, but I waited in my seat for Belinda's to be marked. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited.

Belinda started worrying when she heard the examiner counting failure points, because when we took our papers up, we were the only two papers submitted so far. While he was marking mine though, other ppl had put theirs on top of Belinda's. So, the examiner marked a few other papers, failing a couple of people along the way.
Eventually our Instructor came back into the room (he had gone outside for some reason), and asked if we were finished. I told him that mine had been marked, but we were waiting for Belinda's. He went up to the examiner and asked him about our tests, and I heard him say (in German), that he had already marked them and told both of us that we had passed, and that we could leave! *cough* BULLSHIT *cough* The worst part of it though, was that he added "but they mustn't understand German!". GGF MoFo! I understood you perfectly, but YOU NEVER TOLD BELINDA IF SHE PASSED OR NOT! DU BIST EIN ARSCHLOCH!

So, then we leave with the Instructor, and we go to the Town Hall. We go into one of the offices and talk (or the Instructor does) with a lady there about the whole situation. She asks if we have our registration papers, but they were at home (who would carry them with them??), so we had to go home and get them.

We then drove to our house, and the Instructor waited at his driving school for us to return. He photocopied our licenses in the meantime, so that we could give the copy to the Town Hall so that they could check on our driving record etc.

When we returned, the Instructor told us that he couldn't come back to the Town Hall with us, but all we had to do was take the copies into the girls in the License Registration-room-thingy and it would be ok...so we did....BUT!...

When we entered the room (and all this happened in German), they said "You are the Australians, right?". We said that we were, and their boss said "There are a few problems. Do you understand me?" I said "Yes, we understand a little German", to which he replied "It is best that you come back with somebody who speaks German." WTF??? So I call the Instructor and he talks with the boss on the phone. The boss then says (now in English) "Go and drink a coffee, and come back at 11:30." It was 10:15. So we left.

At 11:30 we returned, and went back into the processing room. The girls did the initial work on re-processing our registration for the license, and then asked for our Australian license. I gave the girl (who looked like she was trying to be Paris Hilton) the copy of mine, and the original...she gave me the copy back. I was a little confused, and asked "Can I have the original back?"... (the following conversation was mainly in English)

Paris: "No, we keep it."
Me: "Why?"
Paris: "Because that's what we do. You will be getting a German license instead."
Me: "But what if I return to Australia?"
Paris: "You can drive there on an international license."
Me: "But you can only drive for a few months on an international license in Australia! What if we go back for good?"
Paris: "You come back here and give us your German license, and we give your Australian license back."
Me: "And if I return to Germany?"
Paris: "Then you give us the Australian one, and you get your German one back."
Me: "But, if you take our Australian license, and we haven't got our German one yet, how can we drive? We won't have a license!"
Paris: "You can show the police the photocopy."

So, kinda confused, and kinda worried, we leave the processing room - Australian License-less. First thing that I did was call our relocation consultant and ask what was going on. She said that this is "normal" in Germany, but that the Town Hall should have given us a letter saying that our Australian licenses are at the Town Hall, in case the Police pull us over...but they didn't. Luckily I still have my Californian license, but now Belinda has nothing.

Today I received a call from our relocation consultant to say that she had spoken with the Instructor and he is pissed at the Town Hall. He is fairly pissed at them because they are claiming that we never gave them our licenses the first time we registered, and hence it is our fault. Of course, this is a load of bollocks, as I know I gave it to Paris (she processed me the first time too), and she said that they didn't need it. BITCH!

Now, to make matters worse, it apparently takes the Town Hall 3 weeks to do the background-check-thingy...and we only have 4 weeks left before we are no longer allowed to drive in Germany on an internation license. Tic toc....tic toc....tic toc... Hopefully they will be faster than usual with the processing, and hopefully everything else goes smoothly, or I won't be able to do my job anymore. An AE without a car is like...well, something really bad.

KILL ME!

Tschüß,
'Brush

The "flyway" to hell

Ok, so last week I did just a little bit of flying. Monday was from Frankfurt to Paris. Wednesday was Paris to Frankfurt, and then Frankfurt to Copenhagen. Thursday wrapped it up with the final leg from Copenhagen to Frankfurt.

The flight to Paris was nothing special - normal flight into a VERY strange looking terminal at Charles De Gaulle. This terminal (terminal 1, I think), is a big, round terminal, with little "satellites" off it that the planes dock at. The big round terminal part is kinda then like a donut, and you can change levels and sides of the donut using a whole heap of travellators that criss-cross the donut hole. Picture something like at Hogwarts, with all the staircases, but with less witches and stuff. :)

Driving from CDG to Velizy (a suburb of Paris) was the first leg to hell. I had printed the directions from the web into PDF format, and stored them on my palm. If I had have thought ahead, I would have realised that this made them REALLY small, and REALLY hard to read!
Anyway, I managed to figure them all out, and get to the street that I was looking for in Velizy...or should I say - a street with the same name. Turns out that there are two of them within about 10k of each other, and the directions that someone had given me were for the street that housed an Army barracks, rather than my hotel. :(
After a few frantic phone calls, about 10 missed exits on the French Autobahn (picture me doing laps, very frustrated), I made it to my hotel, and all was good. Then I discovered that breakfast is served in a cardboard box. :(

PS: Es gibt zu viele französisch Leute in Frankreich. :)

Now onto the return flights...

Paris to Frankfurt went off without too much of a hitch. I did start off in the wrong terminal, and had to take a bus to the donut again, but I made it to the gate on time. There was a bitching long line of ppl waiting to clear security, but we were all bound for Frankfurt, so that was ok.

Well, we landed in Frankfurt at 16:00. I was originally booked on a 21:40 flight to Copenhagen (originally had a 19:00 flight from Frog-town), but I had changed it to 17:50 in Paris. I noticed that there was a 17:00 flight to Copenhagen, so the lovely lady in the Star Alliance lounge changed it for me.
So, I catch the bus-thingy out to the plane, and we board. Take off time passes, and we still haven't left the gate. Everyone is looking kinda confused, when the Captain comes over the loudspeaker and says "We just found one of the passengers smoking in the toilet on the plane. For your safety we cannot allow this, and have had to call the police". So, the cops come and escort oneiratee passenger off the plane, and we take off over 1hr late.

Coming back from Copenhagen, I got to the airport early, so I changed flights...again...onto a 17:15 flight. This is becoming a habit.
So, I run to the gate, as the plane is supposed to be boarding. I get to the gate, and everyone is still milling around, kinda looking lost. Take off time passes, and the gate still isn't open. Finally someone comes over the loudspeaker and says "Unfortunately the plane is too sick to fly. There is a burning smell on board, and we don't know where it is coming from. The good news is that we have found you another plane, and it will leave at 19:15 from gate D1." TWO HOURS LATER!!! (And Belinda was at the airport in Frankfurt expecting me on the 17:15 flight)

So, finally I board the flight for Frankfurt, just dying to get home. Surely it will go smoothly, right? WRONG!
So, we are on our final approach into Frankfurt. The plane is descending nicely, and we are about 100-200m off the ground. Suddenly the plane climb steeply for minute after minute. Finally we level off, and the Captain says "I don't know why we weren't allowed to land. Today is just one of those days." THAT'S SOMETHING INSPIRATIONAL TO HEAR FROM YOUR CAPTAIN!!!
Anyway, we finally land, and the Captain tells basically that on approach 2 planes crossed our runway, and one of them wasn't able to leave the runway in time. Because of this we had to abort the landing so that we didn't die.

Can I stay home for a week or so now?!?!?

Tschüß,
'Brush.

Sorry

Hi guys,

Sorry for the lack of posting for a while - been kinda busy. We have at least 4 or 5 entries that we want to make, and hopefully will do them this week!

Stay tuned!

Tschüß,
'Brush

Finally one about the car...

Am 30. Januar habe ich mein neues Auto bekommen. Ich habe es seit 3 Wochen, und ich habe schon 3.953km gefahren. Es ist sehr schön, sehr geil, sehr schnell, und sehr bequem. Es hat ein Navigation-System, Sitzheizung, Xenon-Scheinwerfer, etc, aber die Hauptsachen sind den 120kw Motor, und den Aux-stecker für mein iPod. Es ist "da bomb"!


On 30th January I got my new car. I have had it for 3 weeks, and I have already driven 3,958kms. It looks really good, and it is really cool, really fast, and really comfortable. It has a Nav System, Seat Heating, Xenon headlights, etc., but the most important things are the 120kw Engine, and the AUX Connector for my iPod. It is "da bomb"!

Tschüß,
'Brush.

Auf Deutsch, und auf Englisch.

Just while I think about it - here are some fun phrases in German.

Auf Deutsch	Rough Translation	Auf Englisch
Drachen steigen lassen	To let dragons climb	Fly kites
Es ist in die Hose gegangen	It has gone in the pants	It is broken/screwed/f'd etc...

Hmmm...turns out that the word for Dragons and Kites is the same in German. Guess they got that one from the Japanese who fly Dragon Kites all the time.

There is also another ripper phrase that I heard last night. It is something about biting yourself on the arse, and it means that you are really mad.

Ah, I just found it on this page.

Auf Deutsch	Rough Translation	Auf Englisch
Ich habe mich in den Arsch gebissen	I have bitten myself in the arse	To be angry at yourself

Back to doing my study now.

Tschüß,
'Brush

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well assuming I am given a work permit I do. WV offered me the job today!!

I am meant to start Feb 1

WHAHOOOOO

Belinda

Chillin' with the King of Norway

That is the castle of the King of Norway. Unlike Buckingham Palace, or any of the American Embassies, you can get within about 15 meters of the building before encountering any kind of fence. Even then, it is only a single chain that is about half-way up your shin.
That being said, the two REALLY COLD looking guys standing outside those litte hut things, with guns, would probably stop you if you tried to knock on the door and leave a bag of burning dog poo on the door step.

This pic was taken at about 7pm, in -6°C weather. It has been snowing here for the last 2 days solid.

Tschüß
'Brush

Good luck!

So Belinda has her interview with WV today, and I am stuck in Oslo, Norway. I wish I could be there to give her a big hug and wish her good luck, but a phone call will have to do for now. I hope that she reads this and knows that regardless of how the interview goes, I still love her.

That is all.

Stamp collecting

Today I became a stamp collector.

Picture this - you arrive at the airport to fly to Norway. You successfully check-in, and decide that you want to spend some quality time in the Star Alliance Gold Lounge before your flight, which is in about 2 hrs time. Your flight is leaving from B13, so you head in the direction of the B gates.

You pass through the boarding pass check, security screening (including special bomb screening because you are carrying a small Ethernet switch), and follow the signs to the B gates and the Lounge.

You come across passport control, and pass through it without batting an eyelid, because you are flying to somewhere outside the EU, collecting a nice "You have left Germany" stamp for your troubles. You then find the Gold Lounge and have some food, some coffee, and some Apfelschorle.

About 40min before boarding, you decide to leave the lounge and head to the gate, via the duty free shops (just to have a look). Strange thing is that the signs to YOUR B gate points back through passport control (B1-B19), but all the other B gates don't. You are a little confused.

Anyway, you don't question the sign, so you head back through passport control, collect ANOTHER stamp in your passport, along with a strange look from the passport control policewoman when she scans your passport...guess she could see that I only left Germany 1hr ago. Then you head down a hall, around the corner, around another corner, and you are facing the security control again. ????

So, again you pass through the security control, and start following the signs to the B gates. A strange sense of deja vu passes over you as you see passport control looming ahead of you. WTF?!?!?

You then notice, on your right hand side before passport control are 3 small gates, B11-B13. Guess I didn't need to go through passport control in the first place, huh? That is, unless I wanted to use the Gold Lounge.

WEIRD.

Tschüß,
'Brush

PS: Greetings from Oslo, Norway.

Brr its cold out there

So after being here for, what, three months(?) we forgot the Sunday rule again today. (For those who have been reading awhile you may remember that the Sunday rule is that nothing is open here on Sundays.)

I just ventured out in this -6 weather to try and hire a DVD. After nearly freezing while scraping the windscreen I remembered half way there that it wouldn't be open!!!!

Oh well, I did a perfect parallel park when I came back home (on the wrong side of the car)!!

The forecast for today was a low of -7 and a high of -2. Brrrrrrr. It is going to be like this all week I think :-( and I have no Brett to keep me warm, as he is in Norway all week.

So think warm thoughts for us.
B

The Awful German Language

On our second or third language lesson, our teacher gave us a book by Mark Twain called "The Awful German Language" - and now I am living it. My German lesson today covered a part of the German Grammar that Twain also found frustrating, so I want to capture some of it for you.

Nouns in German have genders - something which is foreign to us native English speakers. As an example, let's talk about a table. In German, "the table" happens to be masculine - der Tisch.

So, now if I told you that the German word for "on" can be translated as "auf" (sometimes), how would you think you would say "on the table"? If you chose auf der Tisch you would be unfortunately wrong. If a book was currently lying on the table, it would be auf dem Tisch.

That's all well and good, unless I want you to take something and put it on the table for me. Then I would have to instruct you to put the thing auf den Tisch.

Confused yet? Unfortunately that isn't the end of it either. If I had a chair (der Stuhl) that belonged to the table, then it becomes der Stuhl des Tisch, or even der Stuhl von dem Tisch.

A little confusing, huh?

Tschüß,
'Brush

PS: That being said, I am enjoying learning this language. The cool thing is, if I get it wrong then nobody really cares - they still understand you. But, if I get it right, then you get a lot of really impressed looks and stuff. :)